lingering in de air.. is de presence of u.
lingering in my heart.. is de image of u. lalalas. home alone worhs ! =b jus now meiyi and yelena came.. for awhile.. better den no one at home.lols. went to study wif angie ealier on.. been awhile seen i last talk to her.. and i'm glad de ice is broke. =] somethings shud jus be kept in de heart bahs.. today i realise alot of things. but.. i dun hab to say it out. kekes. as long as i noe. " miss someone.. is in de heart de. no nid to tell. " i truly understand everything. thank god.. thank you so much. [ lingering.. ]

was rumbling through my april's archive.. and i saw tis which i formerly post. jus wanna share wif everyone. so guys.. here goes.


Out with the old, in with the new.For a change benefits all.my mind is made up and nothing can change that.accepted it and have moved on.my journey is once again left to be walked alone for i've believe the right one hasn't arrived.i will not make myself sound pitiful as i'm not and to gain sympathy at the end of the day is not my wish.Setbacks after set backs failures after failures that wont bring me down as its not yet the end of the world.and i believe the truly interpid and matured people are those who do not run in time crisis but stand at de front line and faced them.Running away is simply a display of one's ingnoble fear.but why...even Hilter chooses to die than to face it bravely.tell me not what love is , for its better if i find it on my own.tell me not what to do for i hab a brain of my own.if its a must that i must learn then its a must that i must fall.for a person who is full of herself must experienced set backs before she actually realised who she actually is.and only from there can she learn.whether its a victory or a defeat one shouldn't lost his soul and his guts, for a person without gut and soul is as good as dead.and the truly commentable people are one of those few who can turn a crisis into a favourable situation.at the end of the day, its usually the cool headed and the smartest people who excel.for this world is like a battlefield, a battle of the best not the battle of the strongest.if you can proved yourself to be the best then u're eventually the strongest.but..behold to be the best is not an easy feat, for you have to prove you are articulate as well as braved enough to face any crisis which may happen, to stand and fight not to run and hide.articulate..to be able to convince people to make them listen to you in awe to make them respect you and to ba able to twist them around your finger.

I'm gald that i fell as i know that i'm able to get back on my feet and for that, i'm contented.To be able to believe in oneself and never lose that confidence is another must have to surivive in this society.whatever happen happens for a reason, what is the reason is of non importance , are u able to accept the reason is the question.Dream high but not too much, for dreams are after all dreams.hard work and effort is not to be overlook, be a realist not a dreamer.matters of the heart is a matter of fate.if its meant to be,the love will be unbreakable but if it isnt,then face it and move on.For life is full of surprises and no one knows what happen nexts.To love is not to possess and to abuse yourself because of love is not love.has much has fate plays a part, it takes 2 hands to clap.fate can onli bring u together.but to cherish it anot..the decisions lies in the parties involved.god is kind, but never that kind.Setbacks , failures , heart breaks are all part and parcel of life.give it your best in whatever you do for when you failed at least you know you tried.Thank god for giving you the chance and to despair is the last thing one should do.Love yourself and u'll find life isnt as bad as u think.To love yourself simply means, not to lose the faith in youself, to be able to accept failures and not blame yourself for it, to learn from past mistakes and to be able to stand strong after a defeat. =D

tis is by me.. and yeaa. i've stop openin myself up to anyone. i believe it jus isnt worth it anymore. feel like bearin my heart out to u. but i guess i jus gotta bear wif it. take care everyone, and yes. u.

how are chances and choices related...

chances comes by.. choice is your to whether u wan to grab it..

i questioned myself..

wats my purpose in my life ?

grow up work and gets old ?

live it meaningfully ?

make a mark in someone's life ?

all of the above are some craps that i thought of ..

love is jus a fantasy .. it doesn't exist.. why am i so stubborn ?

walk the roads of my life

u might find urself trying to survive..

the road ain't smooth..

its never smooth..

stop giving..

and find yourself not receiving..

trying hard to find the one ?

eventually u end up with something u didn't really want..

letting nature takes its course..

as i wait, my heart sores

well. pratically.. it all boils down to studyin studyin and studyin now. dun even hab time for gb. arghs. i miss dat game. well.. over de weekends i wanna become a wand ! yea. at last.kekes~ i dun slp in class anymore, i dun talk back to teachers, i dun " qiao " my legs but cross dem instead ! lols. w0ahx. =x kekes. i will get my 7As de. dun worry !! sighs. i miss dat guy.. but yet i cnt do nuts bout it. its nt like i wanna think or wadeva. but it jus comes.. ders no stoppin. but heyy. i'm happy knowin dat he is happy. kekes. i dun realli noe wad is goin on rite now laaa. ignorance is bliss..i guess. well.. back to hit daaa books. to all de readers.. thank you ! to my frens and family members.. I LOVE U GUYS ! to de familiar stranger.. jus take care. smilez =D~ [ i'm a geek. kekes ]

i hope, i wish, i pray deep down in my heart.. one day u 'll understand.

g0sh. suddenly miss you.. yes. finally i dare to admit. i hope if u're readin tis u wont feel irritated. hahas. well.. basically its all studyin and playin gb now. i dun wanna go round forcing certain things to happen. wadeva dat is meant to be.. will be. but yea.. cnt deny de feelin inside of me. very complex.. a total whirl. but someday i'll noe.. i choose to ignore it.. for now. tired.. scared.. to face it. runnin doesnt solve anything but it sure can delay things. life right now.. is pretty plain. suddenly.. i miss dat smile, laughter de warmness. i jus miss u. but tis time.. i'm happy.. jus thinkin bout u. maybe tis is wad dey call " u dun miss ur water till de well runs dry " or maybe dis is jus an infatuation. lyk i said.. i duno. hahas. its nice to hab things jus happen de way dey shud.. naturally. certain things are hard to accept and its nt easy.. its realli isnt. but all i can say it.. i believe. =] i'll continue to study hard.. nvr gonna be so full of confidence again. right now.. wonder watcha doin even though it has nth to do wif me. * arbiShx * -.-x hahas. [ if only its dat easy.. ]

i'll close my eyes and cry for de one last time. i'll stand up strong. ders so much more i hab to do. 15 tis yr.. and soon i'll be 20 ? time flies. yuppx. suddenly i feel so tired.. i nid a rest. my studies are my main priority.. i'll go all out for it. wad tony said is right " its always painful when sth sad happens. but girl.. u're still young. " yuppx. its time to change.. nvr been serious in work b4. but.. dats all history. i'm gonna be dat ger.. nt someday but today =] i came to realise things. and it realli doesnt matter whose fault is it.. wad matters is did u learn ? perhaps being frens is a blessin in disguise.. perhaps our path will cross when its time. but tis now.. is nt for me to worry. when de time comes.. i'll noe. right now.. i've got to start cherishin each and every single of my frens and my family members. life is fragile.. who noes wad happens tml ? so if anything shud happen i would like u all to noe. i love u guys. mom,dad,sis,bro,zhiwei,gheeting,ben,norman,jaylloyd,tony,meiyi,xueshuang,azzah,junkai,clara,meiting,khailing and de list goes on. dun be surprise if i'm nt as chatty as b4 or as hyper. i'm tired of bein me. i nid a brk.. and den i'm gonna move on wif a diff me. tis post might well be de last post or might nt. i duno.. but.. i'm no longer dat stubborn sam, dat fierce gal. hahas. but dun jus think i'm a pushover now. jus dat.. perhaps i shud learn for awhile instead of always being at de head. tired.. enuff. wad happen these few days.. i've grown up. wad happen last few mths.. i've learned. maybe tis is jus hw life works. i duno.. matter of de hearts. i've no wish to pursue anymore. i'm nt doin tis for anyone but for myself. i suddenly feel so weak. wish i cud go to slp for 3 days. but god isnt dat kind. i've learnt my lesson de hard way and.. its enuff. i'm nt gonna sit der and cry.. cryin doesnt solve certain things. i'll work hard at my goals.. i will achieve dem. [[ take care everyone. ]]

and so yea. today i woke up kinda late.. den my mom nagged lorhs. i rush out of de hse.. lookin presentable i guess. went to flight for cab. den waited for awhile.. a cab finally came. dat uncle.. greeted me and suddenly touched on de topic of bgr. he asked me " bf same sch wif u ah ? " i said " dun hab. " den he said " hw can. dun bluff uncle.. u kinda pretty. " den i mutter " jus ended " den he started tellin me alot of meaninguful things. thanks uncle.. really. though i duno hu u are.. nt even ur name.. but wad u told me.. yupp. thanks. and tony. my beloved tutor.. was and always will be. thanks cher.. for advicin me.. tellin me wad to do. i've gotta stand strong. now i simply duno wad tml might brings. but yea.. i gotta clear everything up and i'll jus move on. dun wanan start a new one anymore. lemme spend de last yr in peace.. [[ i jus wan peace.. ]]

sighs. its gonna be a day. no one noes de pain. every 5 min i check my fone.. it doesnt ring, no more vibrations. i like to think dat its spoilt. i open de game we once loved.. and i found i couldnt pretend nth had happen. dat bride suit dat nick.. i thought and i finally understand y u had do wad u did. but.. i believe dis isnt de only way. i couldnt look at my books w/o tears wettin dem. i couldnt help.. i cried even in de showers. de pain.. no one noes. i really dun care.. wads gonna happen in da future.. even if it takes me 2 yrs. i'll go on.. i wanna go throught everything wif u. every prob.. y cnt u jus see. i will nvr believe..u can let things go jus liddat. i long for ur hug.. long for ur smile. long for de guy who was once der for me. though i promised u.. i'll excel.. but i duno hw i'm gonna do dat. so wad if i excel ? i cnt be wif de one i love. i noe its gettin childish and naive.. but.. nvr doubt a heart dats true. i couldnt except it.. if u say u dun miss me. i cnt look at my frens and smile anymore. de world has become colourless. de world has lost its meaning. i could no longer look forward to dat dismissal bell nor to de weekends. it doesnt matter.. hw far i go in life.. it isnt impt of whether i succeed. when u're nt der.. nth matters. i noe. its abit too late.. but i believe a heart dats true will nvr change. i will do each and everything dat i can.. perhaps i'm nt de prettiest ger on earth but i'm de one hu love u most. [ 365 x 2 - 1 ] days left. i dun care wad happens durin tis period. on feb 2006.. u'll be proud of me. but.. i wont be happy. cuz.. life has lost its meaning.. my life has gone. [ i'm searchin for u - my life.. ]

For all those times you stood by meFor all the truth that you made me seeFor all the joy you brought to my lifeFor all the wrong that you made rightFor every dream you made come trueFor all the love I found in youI'll be forever thankful babyYou're the one who held me upNever let me fallYou're the one who saw me through, through it allYou were my strength when I was weakYou were my voice when I couldn't speakYou were my eyes when I couldn't seeYou saw the best there was in meLifted me up when I couldn't reachYou gave me faith 'cuz you believedI'm everything I amBecause you loved me You gave me wings and made me flyYou touched my hand I could touch the skyI lost my faith, you gave it back to meYou said no star was out of reachYou stood by me and I stood tallI had your love I had it allI'm grateful for each day you gave meMaybe I don't know that muchBut I know this much is trueI was blessed because I was loved by you You were my strength when I was weakYou were my voice when I couldn't speakYou were my eyes when I couldn't seeYou saw the best there was in meLifted me up when I couldn't reachYou gave me faith 'cuz you believedI'm everything I amBecause you loved me You were always there for meThe tender wind that carried meA light in the dark shining your love into my lifeYou've been my inspirationThrough the lies you were the truthMy world is a better place because of you You were my strength when I was weakYou were my voice when I couldn't speakYou were my eyes when I couldn't seeYou saw the best there was in meLifted me up when I couldn't reachYou gave me faith'cuz you believedI'm everything I amBecause you loved me You were my strength when I was weakYou were my voice when I couldn't speakYou were my eyes when I couldn't seeYou saw the best there was in meLifted me up when I couldn't reachYou gave me faith'coz you believedI'm everything I amBecause you loved me I'm everything I amBecause you loved me

weee ~ anyone still got come here marhs ? haas. thanks.and sorry for nt bloggin.pure lazy bahs. and right now i'm missin him so much.him who ? him my baobei..of cus. laalaas. aiyahhh.my mind is full of him.i couldnt make head or tail of wad i'm gonna type.jus bear wif me laa.de blog gonna be finishing soon. hmmm..so i got 6 distinctions outta 7 subs for tis term.but bahhh.. not to be proud of. i aim far better results.nd i'm gonna do jus dat. dun ever be too self-confident maa.haas.=x errr.wad else ? lets see. right now..i'm pushin myself to de edge wif maths and boomerrr.haaas.boomer is fun.but maths ? err...no. so...hmmm.. tis post is gettin draggy.i jus hate it but nth dat makes sense seems to come out of my oh so perfect brains.lol. talkin to ghee ting currently..and yea..she still such a dear to me. 1 2 3 4 yrs i've noe her.. and yup.its gonna be more den 4 years =D
i suddenly feel so blessed. to hab sucha nice darlinx, a great sis,a joker bro,caring parents [ though dey often show it de wrong way],nice frens and a best fren. i wouldnt wanna lose any of dem.and i duno wad is gonna happen to me..if any of dem is to leave me.i swear i'll cry my eyes out. but for my darlinx.. its gonna be more den jus cry.yeaa..my love one come first =x hees. butt.heyy no.dat doesnt means i can lose any of u. its jus dat..i love him so muchhh cann =b
P.S : take care my loved ones. esp bb , jiejie ,korkor, mom and dad. bb.. dun do projects till stress.. gib urself some free time,it hurts to see u stress and i love u so. jie.. dun over-work urself health is still impt, i love u. korr..uhh,u wont be readin la but still.. take care urself in NS cuz i only hab one bro. marmiii.. it doesnt matter whether we're rich nt..no amt can replace u..so pls pls pls take care. daddiii!! pls tk care..smoke less.. rest more..dun over-strain urself.. i cnt lose u.
[[ i'm everything i am.. because u love me ]]