yeaaa baby baby =b uh huh.. here to bl0g. kakas. so monday was alright nth speciall..jus dat i met bb in de nite..muahahhas. cycle cycle.. too fat lia0s. he say heavy.LOL. =x den today.. in sch..was like kinda b0ring.. but de day went by fast. had stomachache. den miss si0w asked me whether i'm okay.. thanks ah cher ! kakas. today lessons was very relaxing.. and de debatin omg. dey couldnt even ans those qns dat i posed.. and dey are like wad ? representin de sch ? w0rk hard laaa guyss.! hmmm.. de cookin compy could said to be a nt so success wan. but.. de fish tastes nice * ahem.but of cuz* de jelly was nice de veggies was okay but de rice... omg. totally cmi. so..yea..didnt win anything except a pair of fork and spoon -.- but nvm.. for fun and experience i would say. mr leong came in halfway and disturb. l0ls. den he says ours nt bad..but nt gd enuff to win. so..awww...nvm. tiring day. tml gonna go down tm..cuz dey *kuop* my fone !! l0ls. yayss ! den can see bb. weee/s ~ wahahas. jus now play gb..got said dai. =/ l0ls. budden true laa.. tk myself? -.= DAI ! but..still..thanks ah bb.

hmmm..bb. do take careeeee. everything man man lai.dun stress out.dun fall sick.dun be too fatigue. [ hai you wo ma ! =b ]

yeaaa baby baby =b uh huh.. here to bl0g. kakas. so monday was alright nth speciall..jus dat i met bb in de nite..muahahhas. cycle cycle.. too fat lia0s. he say heavy.LOL. =x den today.. in sch..was like kinda b0ring.. but de day went by fast. had stomachache. den miss si0w asked me whether i'm okay.. thanks ah cher ! kakas. today lessons was very relaxing.. and de debatin omg. dey couldnt even ans those qns dat i posed.. and dey are like wad ? representin de sch ? w0rk hard laaa guyss.! hmmm.. de cookin compy could said to be a nt so success wan. but.. de fish tastes nice * ahem.but of cuz* de jelly was nice de veggies was okay but de rice... omg. totally cmi. so..yea..didnt win anything except a pair of fork and spoon -.- but nvm.. for fun and experience i would say. mr leong came in halfway and disturb. l0ls. den he says ours nt bad..but nt gd enuff to win. so..awww...nvm. tiring day. tml gonna go down tm..cuz dey *kuop* my fone !! l0ls. yayss ! den can see bb. weee/s ~ wahahas. jus now play gb..got said dai. =/ l0ls. budden true laa.. tk myself? -.= DAI ! but..still..thanks ah bb.

hmmm..bb. do take careeeee. everything man man lai.dun stress out.dun fall sick.dun be too fatigue. [ hai you wo ma ! =b ]

WEEEE! hahas. dun mind me.. thing are.. well so far so good.i h0pe. lets say.. sch is good for me.. usual crappingx and stuffs all day long.ben nvr fails to be de class cl0wn. always attractin teachers attention to our side. shyt u ! l0ls. no more napps in class.. startin to pay attention.. nvr be too confident maa. hahas. and den... treat prefects duty more serious le.. still no recess duty though.bahhs. i'm nvr gonna do dat. lalalals ~ even matthew nvr do ! hahas. yy am i luffin so much ? i dun0. but it jus feels so g0od to be able to luff.

hmmm... fridae. didnt went to sch. why ? 0h.i wake up and i found i couldnt make a single n0ise.. as in. I COULDNT SPEAK hahas. den.. gastric. talkin bout tis.. argh. thursday..in sch i was like went to de t0ilet 5 times ? or 4..didnt really bother. durin de compo test.. i kept goin..in de end i duno wad i wr0te. yuckks. crapx. hais. hahas =x but nvmm laaa.. think shud be able to pull it through. - praying -

da da dee dumm ~ den abt bb nehs. so far so gud ba.i'm g0nna try my very best. why u may ask.. why n0t i'll ans. few ppl can tell me wad to do... and jus as many times as i'm gonna listen to u. i remb once i went to a fortune teller.. she says de biggest prob wif me is i'm very nt willin to accept others comment hence i might fail at times. den again..wad she says is pretty true.hahas. someday i'm going back to thank herr. used to live by de m0tto. " dun tell me wad l0ve is.for i perfer to find it myself.dun tell me wad to do..for i hab a brain of my 0wn. " but i gues.. time to change ! lets see....hmmm i n0e! " ders always rm for improvement " hahas. but den yaa.. i'm gonna try my very best bahs. wad will de results be..i dun0 ? will everything be better ? i h0pe so. will it be restored.. i would like to say yes. h0w ? i duno.. will de one up der tell me h0ww ? aiyahs! instead of waitin for an ans..i might as well find it on my own.yeaaa.~ one day.. u'll be truly happy bahs. hahas. hmmm.. i'm nt good wif words.. but i can argue pretty well. dat i n0e. so..i wont say much bahs. jus dat.. i will do wad i say. cuz..nt many ppl can make me do dattt. but u did..so i'm gonna do it. h0pefully i succeed.muahahas. and oh yea.. jus feel like sayin.. i l0ve cookie monster ! hahas.and yea.. zell g0nna curse me for tis.hahas. [ wad will be..will be. ]

weee.! kinda happy today.. at least i feel dat.. n0thing is impossible afterall. its like today.. i was happy lo.. glad dat fer once.. i did not spoil de day. tis r/s is sth which i'll defintely wont gib up.. i'll do anything as long as its within my means to make both of us happy. after today.. i believe..i can improve. perhaps i cnt change myself.. but de least i can do is to improve myself. and yeaaa.. i'm gonna do dat. i wont let go.. i will nvr gib up.. for tis is sth which i treasure so. i dun wan it to end cuz of my weakness.. sth which can be changed. and yupp.. u wont regret.. cuz i wouldnt wanna see u regrettin. dearr ah dearr. thanks for everything.. u made me realise things which others couldnt. i wont let u down.. for i dun wanna see u sad. [ baby.. for u.. i'll be. ]

"Everybody needs a little time away," I heard her say, "from each other." "Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other." Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to stay. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. And after all that's been said and done, You're just the part of me I can't let go. Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body. Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love. Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to know. Hold me now. I really want to tell you I'm sorry. I could never let you go. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. And after all that's been said and done, You're just the part of me I can't let go. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. You're gonna be the lucky one.

wakakas.!! very happy now. my bb jus cycled past ! =x very very happy at de sight of seein him. kaakas.

dey called me to go ps today..but i turned dem down.didnt feel like..was at home slackin. watched some vcd. did some gprs thingy.. and jus practically slack. had bread for breakfast had bread for lunch. and..finally..rice for dinner.hahas.

duno laaa.very happy now. and oh yeaa.. spirited away is a nice cartoon.I WANNA WATCH IT !!

wahahas. today was a good day.! at least..i met him !! so happy cannn. =b miss him badly..and got to see him... talked quite abit wif him. i simply love him to bits !!

today..geo test was..well. simple =x cuz got study marrs. maths test was brain wreckin! de graphs was tricky..but somehow..manged to complete dem.shud be able to pass.went to cp after geo test wif darshni, raudah , meiyi , yelena , vithya and ben. ate lunch derr. and reached home ard 4 bahs. den endure 3 hrs of tuition..it wasnt so bad.muahahs. tml gonna help teacher wif de rehearsal !!

baobei baobei !! so happy today.. thanks =] take care yeaaa. get enuff rest.. lalals. dun stress out w0rs !. dun worry.. hai you wo ! =b mmmuuuacckkks ! [ yi.zhi.dou.hui.u.wo ]

gawdd. second post in a day. I'M WORRIED !! nvr been like tis b4... where could he be. h0pe his is alright.. and well. please please lemme noe u're fine... god.please..watch over him. i rather take it dat i'm over reactin. but please... tell me u're fine.! cnt afford to let anything happen to u.. please god.. please.. [ i'll be waiting. ]

in wif de new.. out wif de old. de first step is nvr easy. but..today. i'm proud to see slight changes in myself baas.i woke up.. wash my face..took a shower. comb my hair neatly..i even made my bed ! most ppl noe how lazy i am to make my bed..esp in de morning.but i curb it..and i made it.at sch there was.. no more " qiao jiao-ing " tried to talk at my normal volume..except when i did my duties and those ppl who were tryin to make a fool of me as well as demselves.i dun deny..i shouted at dem..works wonder.hahas. realise dat ppl could understand me jus as well when i tok at a normal volume. paid real attention in class today. even during chem ! durin..assembly..ifelt a vibration in my pocket.. thot it was him.. rushed out of sch de moment we were released. its nt frm him frm my sis. decided to call him.. but.. " mailbox number 9******** blah blahs ~" was heard instead. think his fone no batt bahs.. so i went home alone...didnt felt like waitin for dem. goin to try to reach home as early as possible lers. in tis way.. i've more time to rest / study / gb instead of wastin at de malls. yupp.. saves money as well.hahas.

right.. last week was practically a test week.i failed ss..omg. time to buck up. and ders phy..i dun hab much confidence.. think i'm gonna flunk it.. but..i work hard frm now onwards. havin geo test tml.. i'll score an A1..or A2 at least. - prays -

msg to baobei : those de changes may not be obvious.. but i'm trying. hope one day.. i'm able to achieve it.. but..rest assured. u wont hab to wait for long. wadeva wrong doings i've done in de past.. i apologized to u. but i suppose actions speaks louder den word. i'll prove it to u. hope one day u're gonna beam proudly at me. i'll be awaiting dat day.. thanks for everything dat u've done.be it rite or wrong.. juss wanna let u noe.i realli cherish u. gonna hold on as long as i can.. dats cuz i dun deny.. i love u.

msg to my frens : perhaps u guys are gonna see a new me.. a me actin strange.. but..its all part of my transformation. but.. u guys are still my frens. dat is sth which isnt gonna change. most of u had been puttin up wif me for de past few years. sorry and thank you.

yeaaa..duno shud i call it a bad or a good day. good thing is.. he forgave me.. and de bad thing is.. not fully. came to a point whr i realise a change is inveitable. wad will i change into ? wad if i fail ? i'm scare... but i'll still give it a try. perhaps.. it turn out for de better.. perhaps it'll just turn out otherwise. when dat happens.. wad else wil follow ? hopefully..i can change into de gal who has been pictured in my mind...

i told u i dun blog certain things. i dun wan de whole world to noe.. these things are rather personal to me. and if u dun hab to time to listen to them.. its okay.. i wont force u. i just hate de way life works. or rather..i hate myself. who can i blame ? except myself. if i point fingers at dem now..wad good will dat do ? 8 yrs ago.. as soon as i started understandin thing..i begun to understand much more. my hope was to become an unduantin ger. some fearless.. some who is able to protect herself and her family. 8 yrs later.. i'm jus a normal teenage ger who can do so much. perhaps..its better to blend in wif de crowd den standin out. u'll avoid much more attention dat way.but a unique side of me will always remains.nevertheless...* transformation in progress *

not everything dat happen yrs back was saddening.. i've had happy memories too =] like dat time i rode on an elephant ! lollls. and pickin strawberries and much more. jus dat..those sad ones tend to leave a deeper impression.. but now..its all over yeaaa. i'm 15 wad can dey do to me ? jus hope transformation sucessful. i dun wanna do everything in vain. ['ll be de best dat i can be ]

A night i spent through reflecting..
a lifetime of regretting.
why did i had to do so much talking
wassup wif all the thinkings ?

lost and bad i'm feeling..
for causin u so much unhappiness.
please dun keep me lingering..
all i beg is for ur forgiveness.

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me if I need ya like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin you

i' ve truly understand,
i swear wif all my heart
truly regrets my actions, can u tell ?
truly repentable.. i nid you..
i nid ur forgiveness.. please..